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All of us have been manipulated at some time in our life, both being conscious and without being it. However, there are people who base their entire personality on manipulating the rest of the subjects around them. These are known as manipulators.
Usually, psychologists and psychologists relate this type of behavior with those people who have a manipulative personality. As for these individuals, they tend to act in a cynical and unprincipled way, trying to get the maximum benefit from the rest of society regardless of the feelings of the rest, as they lack remorse and empathy.
As you well know, manipulative people base their relationships on deception and lies, with the sole purpose of achieving their goals. For this they tend to detect the weaknesses of others and take advantage of them, creating a dependency on their person. They are quite methodical subjects, so they think in detail about the acts and behaviors they are going to perform in order, at all costs, to avoid being discovered by the person they intend to manipulate.
However, they do not always achieve their goals and are exposed by those they deceive. Therefore, in Psychology-Online we are going to show c ow acts a manipulator when discovered.
You may also be interested in: How to unmask a manipulative person Index- How to spot a manipulator
- The manipulator's reaction to being discovered
- How to fight a manipulator
How to spot a manipulator
Manipulators are people who have perfected their deception tactics over the years and have therefore managed to become very chameleonic people who tend to adapt quickly to situations. That is why detecting them and discovering their deceptions can be very complicated, however, as with other individuals, their personality ends up emerging and coming to light.
These people initially camouflage each and every one of their objectives within well-intentioned actions, that is, they will act in a friendly way and giving the impression that they are disinterested people, however, their true intentions are always present.
One way to discover their intentions is to observe the way they present themselves, since, when they want someone to accept their request, they will tend to act as victims of society so that in this way you empathize with them and accept all their demands.
Depending on your answer, another part of his personality may come to light. If you accept the demand, they will make you look like his savior and thus make you feel superior and want to always protect him. However, if you refuse to make that request, an aggressive facet and an intention to blame you will appear. With these two attitudes, their intention will be that you rethink the demand as a result of the feeling of discomfort and guilt that it will create in you. Here you will find tricks to unmask a manipulative person.
The manipulator's reaction to being discovered
Like the rest of people, each one will act in a different way once they have been discovered and their deceptions have been exposed. However, there are a series of patterns or behaviors that they use as strategies to redirect the situation:
- Quickly change behavior. Manipulative people, when others realize their intentions, radically modify their way of behaving to divert attention from the person they are trying to manipulate and that, in this way, they think that it has been all product of your imagination.
- They may try to make the other person feel guilty. They get that inside you a glimmer of doubt is created before what you think of him and that you feel guilty for having thought badly of them. That way they ensure that at another time you will do whatever it takes to compensate for that feeling of guilt. If that's your case, we recommend reading How to stop feeling guilty about everything.
- They try to justify themselves by all possible means. One of the phrases most used by manipulative people is: "I am not the only person who thinks / does it." With this statement they aim to reduce responsibility for their actions and gain some credibility.
- They try to turn the tortilla by becoming the victims. They usually seek that people who have discovered their deceptions feel sorry for them, so that in this way they "understand" that they act in this way justifiably.
- Another way they act is through anger. They try to impose themselves in front of the person who has discovered them and thus cow them, thus having more time to think and plan their future actions.
How to fight a manipulator
To be able to fight against a manipulator, initially you have to learn to recognize them and this, many times, is not easy, because over time the manipulators improve their techniques and tricks by disguising themselves as lambs when in reality they are wolves waiting for the attack.
There are many types of manipulators, such as: the dependent, the aggressive, the interpretive and the sarcastic, among others. However, a series of guidelines could be given to be able to stop a person with that personality.
- Don't let him become "the victim. " This is one of the strategies most used by manipulative people to make you believe that you are to blame. Learn to verbalize his actions and show him that you know his intentions and that for this reason he will not be able to be a victim.
- Don't let him put on a show for you. When they see that their objectives are not going to be met, they get angry and behave like real enraged children. In this case, what you have to do is ignore their behavior as this is just another way of emotionally blackmailing you.
- Set limits. Since their personality drives them to be quite aggressive, don't let them be with you. Make yourself respected and valued and in this way they will know that with that aggressive behavior they will not achieve anything from you.
- Teach them not to let yourself be manipulated. Say "no" when you feel that you do not want to do what they ask of you and you do not feel any guilt or remorse for doing it, since you have the right to refuse.
- Express everything that you dislike and explain how you feel. This pattern is a consequence of the tendency that manipulators have to criticize others so that, in this way, the weaknesses of the other individual are exposed and can take advantage of them. For this, knowing how to be assertive is essential. Here you will find techniques to develop the capacity for assertiveness.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How a manipulator acts when discovered, we recommend that you enter our Personality category.
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- IbaƱez, N. Personality . Jaume I. University 2015