Table of contents:
- First symptoms of a violent man
- Characteristics of an aggressive man
- Can a violent man change with therapy?
- Quality criteria to be taken into account for the development of therapeutic treatment:
- What to do before a violent man?
Throughout history, violence has always played a role, depending on which times are more primordial than others, becoming the main measure to resolve conflicts. In the case of men, the number of violent crimes and delinquency in general has always been much higher than that of women. In this Psychology-Online article we will answer the questions: Can a violent man change? What to do if you find yourself in front of a violent man? We will also see the symptoms that will lead us to recognize it and its main characteristics. Note that we will deal specifically with violent men within the couple.
You may also be interested in: The Conception of Man as a Starting Point Index- First symptoms of a violent man
- Characteristics of an aggressive man
- Can a violent man change with therapy?
- What to do before a violent man?
First symptoms of a violent man
How to detect a violent man? Some of the most characteristic symptoms are the following:
- Lack of empathy
- Low self-esteem
- Emotional restraint and rationalization of feelings
- Dependency / insecurity
- Jealousy
- Controlling and manipulative behaviors
- Poor assertiveness
- Poor communication skills
Characteristics of an aggressive man
We find the following characteristics as the main ones of a violent man, although it must be taken into account that they do not constitute a homogeneous group and the characteristics vary according to the specific subject and according to the way of exercising violence:
- Psychological disorders: lack of control of anger and impulsivity, stress in the face of conflicts, control-lack of control axis (control over the partner, lack of control in terms of aggressive impulses).
- Lack of empathy and lack of expression of emotions. Here gender stereotypes would come into play, which would make it difficult for adequate emotional expression. Feeling vulnerable, they may not accept it and react through violence.
- Dependence and anxiety towards the abandonment of his partner. Emotional instability.
- Cognitive distortions: distorted beliefs that refer to women's roles, believing that they are inferior etc… here you will find more information about cognitive distortions.
- Communication and problem-solving skills are poor, although this is not the case in all cases. Difficulty tolerating frustration.
- Low self - esteem.
- Use of coping strategies to avoid responsibility for their violent acts.
- They could have been witnesses or victims of violence in their family of origin. In many cases it is so.
- Consumption of alcohol and other substances in some cases.
Can a violent man change with therapy?
Does a violent man change or does not change? Treatment of violent men has always been questioned in part by two main issues:
- Abusers do not recognize or take responsibility for their violent behavior, so they are not motivated to go to treatment and if they do attend it is difficult to adhere to the program.
- On the other hand, the efficacy of the intervention is criticized: does it change violent behavior? At first it seems so, but, are these guidelines maintained over time?
The treatments must guarantee to answer these questions to achieve a greater number of successes. Normally, if the criteria that we will now present are taken into account, there are possibilities of making a violent man change. In any case, this answer will depend on each specific case, since the treatments are individualized for each subject and their specific needs, so they can also respond in different ways. The important thing is to improve as professionals and achieve a greater number of positive results.
Quality criteria to be taken into account for the development of therapeutic treatment:
- Basic principles in the intervention with aggressors that exert gender violence.
- Criteria for the elaboration of the therapeutic procedure.
- General criteria: A) Programs included within the healthcare network. B) Trained professionals with a gender perspective. C) Duration of the intervention based on objectives. D) Specific treatment programs that include group and individual procedures. E) Continuous comprehensive evaluation and analysis of motivation.
- Cross-cutting axes of the intervention.
What to do before a violent man?
If you are in a situation in front of a violent person, according to the experts, the steps to follow would be the following:
- Maintain a safe distance: prevent any type of contact and violent reaction, carry an object that may or may not hurt you.
- Evaluate the person: causes of aggressive or violent behavior, characteristic, state of the person, tone of voice, to whom or what their words are directed, state of nerves…
- Know well the place and its spatial distribution: physical, accessible, safe, fast way to escape violent behavior.
- Assess the degree of danger of the situation.
- Decide if you can approach the person and act better or request specialized help: do not hesitate to request the necessary help if you find that you will not be able to act alone or that the situation is getting out of hand and becoming much more dangerous.
- First contact: planning an action plan based on the information obtained. Do not improvise as you can generate worse situations. Be clear: what do you want the other person to do? What do you want them to stop doing? and how are you going to do it?
- Physical and psychological approach: always progressively, expecting a minimum of calm and safeguarding your safety. Never stop looking at the person's hands and show yours. Avoid looking into her eyes, you can comment something on a trivial topic that helps to divert attention. Calm tone, calm gestures. Invest time and show interest in what they ask or explain.
- Accede to the reasonable requests that they make: remember that what you want is to stop the aggressive behavior, so you have to listen to what the person asks and if it is reasonable to calm the situation. Then you can think about leaving or doing something else.
For the specific case of abusive men, here is an article talking about how to act in these cases: How to help an abused woman.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Can a violent man change? , we recommend that you enter our category of Social Psychology.
Bibliography- Quinteros, A. (2010). Psychological Treatment of Men Who Perform Gender Violence: Basic Criteria for Developing an Intervention Protocol. Contemporary Clinic (2) 1, 129-139.
- Romero, S. (2015). Psychological characteristics of male partner aggressors: classifications and therapeutic approaches. Psychology, Knowledge and Society. University of the Republic.